Thursday, May 20, 2010

Pay attention to now

Joe and I were watching videos of the boys when they were little. Oh how cute they were (and still are!) But we noticed something, all though they have changed physically and mentally...they are still the same. When Bryce was little he was anal about everything. Everything belonged somewhere and if it wasn't in it's place he would get all bent out of shape over it. He also loved playing with the broom. This sweet little one year old would try his very best to sweet our kitchen. When the broom fell, he would try desperately to pick it back up. It usually got caught in between his legs. And Ethan, he LOVED to fight. We would ask him "ya wanna fight?" and he would ball his little fists up and come over and to start fighting. There was one part of the home video where Joe was playing in the floor with the boys and they were "fighting." Ethan jumped on top of Joe, took his little hand, hit the floor saying "1, 2, 3...ding ding ding." I won, I won! If only we would have took a second to pay attention to what they were doing then we would have been able to see what they're doing now. Bryce still loves to clean. He will make his bed without being told, vacuum his room and help me. He loves doing the dishes, dusting, cleaning the cars, etc. He just doesn't like cleaning his own room. Ethan still loves to fight. He recently earned his gold belt in karate. This is his 3rd belt (white, white/gold, gold.) He wants to earn his black belt so bad. It was so sweet watching them on the video. It reminded me of so many things. It's hard to believe that my boys will be graduating kindergarten next week and in less than 3 months my little girl will be 1. Time flies. I am trying to cherish every moment I have with my children.

Monday, May 10, 2010

50? Hmmm....Now what??

For my 50th blog I decided to follow a friends idea.

Here are 25 things you might not know about me...
1. I am shy! I know I can talk to anyone but you have NO IDEA how many times I tell myself "you can do it!" Once that happens the shyness wears off.
2. I am scared of the dark but I LOVE to be in it as long as someone else is with me.
3. I am terrified of being all alone (especially at night time.)
4. I would rather hear sounds than pure silence, which is why I sleep with a fan at night.
5. If I have a story to share and I know in advance, I will practice it out loud over and over again to make sure I include every fact that I find interesting.
6. I tell the longest stories and I don't mean to. I just like to talk.
7. I am insecure.
8. I have the WORST memory! I NEVER intentionally forget something, it just happens!
9. I can look at you in the eye as you're talking but have the hardest time having eye to eye contact when it's me doing the talking (goes back to my insecurity)
10. I learn from my own mistakes and not from self help books or someone elses mistakes.
11. I purchased my wedding dress before I purchased my senior prom dress.
12. I do not know how to swim underwater without holding my nose.
13. I love organization, so much so that my DVDs are alphabetized and my clothes are categorized by colors in the Rainbow pattern!
14. As much as I love organization, I HATE cleaning! I wished we had a maid!
15. When I get nervous, I tug on my ears.
16. I am not good at keeping a conversation going and I sit and think about what to say.
17. I am not good at apologies. I feel like I can never make up for what I did.
18. I shave my arms! I do not like hair on my body!
19. I am a natural blond, especially before kids!
20. I wear kid shoes! Seriously! All of my tennis shoes are a size 3-3 1/2. I can wear a 5 1/2 in women's heels.
21. When I was little, I did not like my name so if I met a new person I would tell them that my name was either Monica or Tracy. By the way, I like my name now.
22. I've had 3 different last names!
23. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a boy! All of my friends were boys so I didn't really know better. I even tried to potty like the boys. Now, I'm a high maintenance diva.
24. I cannot donate blood. I nearly died giving birth to our twins so they gave me a blood transfusion. Because of the transfusion and a blood clotting condition, I cannot give. So, side note: Please donate blood. It might just save someones life!
25. I hate confrontation. I want everyone to be happy and I struggle when they're not.

25 things I've come to know about myself:
1. The more I learn about Jesus, the more I learn about myself.
2. It's ok to admit you've made a mistake. People are more forgiving than I realized.
3. Loving Jesus more allows me to love others more.
4. I am a better person because of my husband.
5. I am a stronger person because of my children.
6. Believing in something that isn't true is still a lie, no matter how I word it.
7. I can be 100% of myself around the people that care.
8. Some people will never like me no matter how much I want them to.
9. If I put my mind to it, I can accomplish it.
10. I will not stop trying no matter how many times of saying "I'm tired of putting forth the effort."
11. My sins do follow me and will continue to follow me until I confess and repent.
12. I am addicted to NKOTB so much that you can almost call it an obsession.
13. I focus too much on weight loss and not enough on being fit and healthy.
14. I am getting older...I'm not 18 anymore!
15. I must get at least 8 hours of sleep or I'm not exactly myself.
16. Coffee IS awesome! Told you I was getting older!
17. I am not alone with my feelings.
18. I read into things too much.
19. I CAN ask for help. They offered because they wanted to, not just because they knew I would say no.
20. Breakfast does make me feel better throughout the day.
21. I am a minority! Joe and I married when I was 19 and he was 20. According to statistics, we should be divorced, remarried going through another divorce OR living the stereotypical single life. Instead, we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. I can honestly say I love him more now than I did then!
22. I do like getting flowers and small gifts. I never thought they really mattered but now I think it's just a nice way of saying I was thought about. (not meaning to sound shallow...and not talking about elaborate gifts. I used to think and say to Joe that they were pointless....see I feel like I have to explain now.)
23. Constantly saying the word "like" annoys me. "And, like, I, like, totally, like, do not like, like it when, like, people, like, do this. Like, you, like know what I, like, mean?
24. I am a rule follower (does this make me lame?)
25. When I stop and listen, I can hear so much.

Wow! This was really hard for me. I do not like talking about myself. I can talk about my husband, kids, friends or pretty much anything much better than I can talk about myself. Well...THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Friday for Mom's

What a sweet day today has been. The boys school had a Mother's Day luncheon for all the mommy's of Kindergartners today. We waited until they allowed us to go down to the classrooms and then got to go in. The boys teacher, Mrs. Lavinka, had the room decorated so nice. She had a "big" chair for the moms and the children's little chairs for them. When we arrived to the classroom the kids were out playing while Mrs. Lavinka shared with us some ideas and a story. As I sat and listened to the story I tried to think of something else because I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't hold it any longer. As I looked around the room, I quickly noticed I wasn't the only mom trying to hold back tears and failing miserably. So, because this story is not only very sweet but it is so true. Here is the story:

A young mother writes: "I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome, that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?"

OK. One of these days, you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age!" And they will. Or, "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do . . . and don't slam the door!" And they won't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy: bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company." And you'll eat it alone.

You'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms. No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps. No more clothespins under the sofa. No more playpens to arrange a room around.

No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent. No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches, rubber bands for ponytails, tight boots or wet knotted shoestrings.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn't ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.

No PTA meetings. No car pools. No blaring radios. No one washing her hair at 11 o'clock at night. Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No giggles in the dark. No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?" and the silence echoing, "I did."

Erma Bombeck

I find myself crying just as I write the story. I get compliments all the time about how well mannered and well behaved my boys are and what a sweet baby Maggie is, but I am the first one to get on to them when they slip up and forget to do something. I have to stop and remember that my boys are a gift from God. They are not good children because I made them that way, they are good children because of God. I should not take the praise when someone compliments me but, give the praise to God. He deserves the glory! After all, I didn't make myself a mom. He allowed me to become one. He has guided me and shown me, even if it did mean learning from my own mistakes at times. I am so thankful to celebrate my 6th Mother's Day this coming Sunday. I love my children so much.