Thursday, May 17, 2012
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? ~Matthew 6:26 How true, right? God promised to take care of the birds and yet HE tells us that we are more valuble than the birds. And you know what, we are! It's been a minute since my last blog. And what an amazing minute it has been. During the past few months I can say that I am feeling amazing. God has provided and helped bring me out of such a terrible state. He has reminded me of who I am...HIS child! He has given me a new outlook on life. I am 100% certain that my family and friends have noticed a change in me. My husband and my kids are loving having their wife and mom back. And I am most certainly enjoying being back. Before I got help I could make myself mellow out at the drop of a dime...and now...well, now, I'm back to having issues controlling my laughter. I'm having fun again for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying what all the Lord has blessed me with. I used to dwell on all the "things" I didn't have but now I don't even look in that direction. I don't want "things!" I have what the Lord has given to me, all of which I do not deserve. I said in my last blog that depression is real and it really is. Depression doesn't just effect you, it effects everyone around you. For months that turned into years I had a mask on my face. I hid behind my problems. I blamed others for my faults and I wasn't willing to accept that I had a serious problem. My husband walked on egg shells all the time, which in return effected the things in his life. My friends had to be careful what to say to me because it might cause me to become upset. It takes a lot to admit that you need help but needing help doesn't mean you're a bad person. We pray and ask God to protect us, to help us, to lead us, to guide us, to give us discernment...well...asking God for those things do not make you a bad person either. Life is such a precious gift, do not waste it wondering "what if." Do not allow something to consume you of being who God created you to be. If you do, Satan wins. No matter what the situation may be. I ask that you continue to pray for me and my family. I had a follow up appointment with my doctor last month. She was very pleased with how the medicine was working and did inform me that I may have to up my dosage if I notice changes in my mood. So far, everything has been wonderful and my prayer is that it stays the same or I'm able to one day come off the meds. As of right now, I'm not in any hurry to change anything. They also ran blood work that day and my liver enzymes were elevated. I'm supposed to go this month for more blood work. The doctor wasn't too concerned because everything else was perfect and my enzymes were only slightly elevated. We are hoping that it was due to taking Tylenol for a cold. I know I've said it before but I will never stop saying it...God is so good! He has more grace than I could ever imagine. My prayer for all my friends is that you know how special your life is and how important you are. I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life and I'm eternally grateful for each and everyone one of them.